


Journal of a Watcher

by Thrawn



Series: Kennedy's childhood and family adventures. [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Catholic Social Teaching, F/F, F/M, Gen, Homeschool, Human Furniture, Sisters Catfight, family fic (fiction about family), problems raising a gay daughter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-26 18:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1698032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thrawn/pseuds/Thrawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, inspired by Alixtii, Stormwreath, and CN Winters, this fic depicts some of Kennedy's late childhood.<br/>I also owe the following people thanks: My current Landlord, for verifying the context and terms that the Watcher in this would use, my friend Ashley as well, for permitting me to utilize her characters of her RP game (the OCs she came up with) for this story... Thanks, Ashley!<br/>Simply put: Kennedy's orientation would only be a temptation for her, not a right of any kind, but only a temptation, and like any other, it's not intrinsically a sin unless one gives in to it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My elder daughter's Cruciamentium

Journal of a Watcher

By Brian Mario Prescott-O’Hara

Buffy fanfic by James Carmody.

Disclaimer: The entire Buffy series is the property of Joss Whedon, not myself. I will not accept any monetary compensation for this piece until Mr. Whedon gives me written permission to do so, personally!- then and only then, with giving him appropriate royalties due to his copyright!

Author’s Notes:

 ****Nina Jane Prescott-O’Hara and Abigail Marie Prescott-O’Hara are the characters made up by a certain Ashley, whom I have been playing a role-playing game with online, and who gave me permission to include them in a fanfic recently. Thanks, Ashley! I hope you enjoy this piece! This is designed to be a family fiction piece. Also, I would like to thank my Dad for his input on the attitudes of a father in this piece, as well as a Vietnam Era Veteran’s perspectives, as those are some of the roles of Mr. Prescott-O’Hara, as well as a Catholic HomeSchooler’s POV., Thanks Dad! This is sort-of a self-insertion, by the way.

Brian is Kennedy’s adopted father and first Watcher, Nina is 2 years younger than Kennedy and her sister, Abigail is the gals’ Mom by blood… this is sort-of an attempt to understand some of the problems Brian would have, and some of his delights in raising Kennedy as his child… Joseph Bishop was the girls’ biological father and Brian’s best friend in the War, the two made a pact to make sure that Mr. Bishop’s family was taken care of in the event of his death- and Brian fell in love with Mr. Bishop’s widow, eventually marrying her; thereby becoming the girls’ dad by adoption and marriage.

Characters:

 ****Kennedy Prescott-O’Hara, OC, OC, OC, et cetera. ****

Pairing:

 ****Only true pairing is Brian/Abigail, but due to Kennedy’s problematic orientation (clearly a cross), she tends to date girls (a misbehavior)- her orientation compass is backwards: most likely a result of original sin in her case, and a cross for her family, so her girlfriend of the time will show up once or twice. ****

Tags:

 ****sisters catfight, misbehavior, parental correction, counseling of a sort, sibling love and loyalty. ****

Warnings:

 ****pretty much aside from fighting, both against monsters to protect Nina by Kennedy, pretty much none, but there will be at least one fight between Kennedy and Nina- as sometimes happens between siblings- shouldn’t ever- but does sometimes. ****

Chapter #1.): My elder daughter’s Cruciamentium.

 

Date of entry: October 2nd 2001.

Today is a day of celebration and delight for my entire nuclear family, for my: older foster daughter, student, slayer (or ‘monster fighter’ as it were), charge, and prospective warrior-woman (something she takes great delight in considering herself since I told her about it.), and, despite her sexual orientation- which is her cross; someone I consider a masterpiece of training,… had a ‘little surprise’ today: her cruciamentium. A cruciamentium is a sort-of ‘coming of age ritual’ for girls like her, and she passed this field test with flying colors!

When we had paid for our tickets, I and Abigail informed our daughters that we’d meet in the food court of the faire, and they could enjoy themselves for a while, but to be there by 12:00 noon for lunch. Abigail went off to look around, and possibly shop. I know you’d find it odd that I am so relaxed about my wife’s whereabouts, but the truth is that I trust her implicitly. I, meanwhile went off to meet with somebody and set in motion the test for my elder daughter- Kennedy.

I must admit a certain apprehension to loosing a vampire in a faire like this, but I have absolute trust in the skills I imbued Kennedy with as her Watcher since she was about 4! Likewise I knew she wouldn’t let any bystanders come to harm, especially Nina!

When the monster was released, Kennedy was demonstrating her marksmanship with the crossbow, in bulls-eye after bulls-eye, and loving it! Soon as she saw the vampire, she put a bolt through it’s heart with a single shot! Of course, she had to hand in the weapon ASAP, literally as soon as the shot went off! My child was a little upset to have that happen, she seemed to feel as if she was being punished. Her words were: “But Dad, What about the monster?”… I guarantee, those were her exact words!

Now, there was some trouble, but the hazard of the monster stopped her from any real consequences; as a lot of people were saying “what was that?” and “what happened to his face?”, and “he looked like some kind of inhuman monster!”, and well, all those witnesses made it impossible for them to discipline her for aiming her crossbow where she had! She really had quite a crowd watching her shoot, it was incredible!

Well after some time at the faire (which we’d be coming back to, with all the pressure from the girls, who simply love the middle ages period), I took the entire little family to Wendy’s for an early supper. By the way, on the trip over, I suspect something was harassing Kennedy, she was quietly dancing to her music; it seemed to be Billy Joel’s Stormfront album, and well… she suddenly blurted out the word “Yuck”,. I’ll need to talk to her about that when we get home from this trip.

We had driven from our home in the Hamptons, after Mass, and Kennedy stopped to talk to the Priest about his sermon on Saint Joan of Arc, somebody she always admired, for personal reasons, to the ferry between Long Island to Connecticut, driven our van up through New Haven, past the Knights of Columbus Museum, to the Connecticut Renaissance Faire.

Anyways, at Wendy’s, Kennedy and I sat across from one another and Nina and Abigail sat at another table… the place was short on four-person-tables.

Kennedy was absolutely bonkers with delight! Throughout the entire dinner, she just couldn’t stop talking about her stopping that monster from hurting her neighbors- especially Nina! I’ll remember till my dying day her happy face as she stirred her fruit and yogurt parfait, and had her chicken salad.

“That monster never had a chance!” she was saying “It was just ‘Hiya!’ Fwoosh! Boom! Poof!” Kennedy said laughing. She could have gotten herself in tremendous trouble with the workers there, but the fact that a monster was on the loose really saved her from trouble in the faire with the staff workers.

We kept on going back several days in a row.

What a total difference and complete improvement has taken place over the previous two years!, I am very happy to say.

Two years ago, or thereabouts:

Abigail and I had left on a date, and last we had seen, our girls, our beautiful girls were playing a Star Trek video-game on the family PS2, happily moving around the screen with their joysticks., well, when we got home, it looked as if a demon had entered the room and made itself at home: our daughters were in a tremendous fight! As I opened inserted the key into the lock and turned first the key, then the lock, I heard Nina yelling “Get OFF!” and Kennedy then, more calmly, responded “Nina, you had your chance, you know the price for calling me that name, you still did so, this is the result, so take it!” Then Nina screamed “You’re hurting me, Kenn, let me GO! OW! I’m telling!” at that moment, the door opened, and I and Abigail burst into the room, saw what our children were doing to one another, and our moods immediately shifted from happy to berserk!- Kennedy was sitting on Nina and both girls were struggling against each other, with Kennedy holding Nina by the wrists, and seated on her little sis’s lap, she was also facing away from her, with her back facing her sister- clearly fighting!

Abigail was **usually** in complete control of her mouth, but she just barely stopped herself from uttering an expletive that would have frozen **anybody’s** blood! “What the?! What in the world is happening here?! Get off her, Kennedy, NOW!!! Get off your sister and go immediately to your room!” I didn’t wait at all! I promptly grabbed Kennedy by her right arm, hauled her off Nina’s lap, and practically dragged her to her room, saying to my wife “You deal with Nina, I’ll deal with Kennedy!”. Nina had tried to hit Kennedy when she was hauled off of her, and it looked as if the girls would start fighting again! But Kennedy dodged the strike, and before she could hit back, I hauled her off to her room. My elder daughter was in her pajamas, her ‘sleep-shorts’ as she liked to call them, in fact, both girls were in their pajamas. When we got to her room, I practically threw her into her room, and onto her bed, then I started to interrogate her. “Kennedy, what was that about?” I demanded. I could hear my spouse trying to calm Nina down, she was crying and Abigail was talking to her. “Talk to Nina… she’s the one who did it!” “Oh, we’ll get to the bottom of this- of that I can assure you!” I was nodding in anger, but agreement about that “Now’s your chance to tell your story, so., talk to me.” I responded, then I saw that she really didn’t understand, and she, being a tomboy, loved military history (especially the feudal periods of it)… as did Nina love the Middle Ages, in fact. “Kennedy, this is essentially a form of a ‘court marital’ about your fight with your little sister, so- What happened?”

It turned out that the girls had been playing a videogame peaceably for about 1and 3/4 hours, then Kennedy had received a phone call from her girlfriend, a certain Amber Macintyre. I didn’t believe it would be sensible to prevent my child from dealing with her temptations; she would have to face them in the real world sooner or later, so- she might as well be completely prepared in advance., and as her Dad, it’s my responsibility to oversee her preparations ASAP. I absolutely don’t approve of her dating girls, but this is her cross, her temptation, her evil desire; and one she’ll have to deal with! The phone call had gone on fine, she performed herself admirably, but, according to Kennedy, Nina had then lost it, and had called her sister a ‘dyke’, hence the fight. The reason soon became clear: Nina didn’t want Kennedy to go down that road- and it seemed to her that Kennedy had completely taken the wrong route about it, and in response to it! She had also been sitting on her sister for about 40 min.

“Nina shouldn’t have called me that.” Kennedy was saying, bitterly. “Kennedy, Nina took the wrong approach to the situation by calling you a name, but she has a point- dating is _inter-_ gender, not _intra_ -gender.” “Dad, I **love** Amber, similar to the way you love Mom. And anyways, isn’t love the basis of our religious beliefs?” Kennedy asked, clearly confused. I gestured to a spot on the bed “mind if I sit down?” I asked. She made it clear she didn’t have any objections. “You know what I think?” I asked her “I think you are mixing up love with lust.” now Kennedy was starting to get upset “Hold on a bit…” I explained to my 16 year old elder child, my ‘quincenera’ as they say in Hispanic countries. “Love is camaraderie, it’s the desire, more than anything, to defend someone from evils, it’s **_not_** the desire to commit the ‘marital act’ with somebody! In your mystery novels” I continued, drawing on her tastes in literature that are modest “The thing I would approve of them is the dealings are usually modest.” “You and Mom make out.” she stated, disappointed. _‘Now we get to the root of the problem, she feels left out of love.’_ I thought “Marital love is specific, I love you, your sister, and your Mom,… hey, Joseph Bishop, your biological Dad and I were best buddies, and we had that kind of love for each other- but we’d **absolutely _never_** lay together! That, my child, is why I agreed to look after his family should something happen to him; because I care about his family!” Kennedy had never been comfortable with my situation as her ‘adopted dad’, no matter what happened, what I did or tried to do, she could never bring herself to trust me- quite., it seemed to me as if she always felt like I was an adulterer by taking her mom, even though her mom was a widow… almost like I engineered her dad’s death- blatantly false, but it just couldn’t be escaped.

“Kenn, the way you love Nina is proper, the way you love Amber must mirror the way you love Nina to be proper, otherwise: The First Evil will find it’s way into your life.” “I have heard you speak of it before, who or what is it?” She asked. “I believe it’s the same psychopathic spirit who corrupted Adam and Eve, all those, I am going with millions of years ago- and thereby messed up humanity so badly!” Kennedy gasped in horror “the Devil.” she said. _‘I’ll have to train her more intensely to deal with it’s tactics, or all her physical training will be for naught!’_ I thought.

The next field I introduced to her was in regards to the book of Tobit in the Old Testament, and how the Prince of Darkness has quite a bit of power over those who base their relationships on lust; but it is the kind of lust that disrespects the other person’s better good.

“Love is hallmarked by the drive to sacrifice to make the other person first safe then happy, whereas lust is about physical sexual pleasure. Does this help you see the difference?” I asked. She nodded, “I think so, Pop, but it still hurts,,, in here.” she pointed to her heart. Now I began to look at her with sympathy. “Do you believe I did wrong?” she asked. “In this case, the wrong you did was fighting with your little sister, not in reference to the call, that you seem to have done fine in regards to your temptation set.” was my response.

One of the things I explained to her was the horror of the behavior of Sodom and Gomorrah, and I could tell from the set of her jaw and the look in her eyes that she did NOT like what it implied, so I explained “What they were doing was gang-rape, child. Listen; your orientation is merely a temptation, and like any other temptation, it’s not sinful unless you agree to it!” “Like an e-mail offer?” she asked “Exactly, but from organized crime.” I responded, then continued “And once you agree, you’re in their debt, hence, you’re their slave!” I could tell this alarmed and frightened her. “Good, you should be frightened; beings like that are evil, and will abuse you!” I said, in order to teach her right from wrong.

“I’ll agree that rape is evil, and should never be done, but how is love evil?” she asked, still confused. I messed with her hair in a playful way, to calm her, and it seemed to work, then explained “Love comes in many different forms… do you know what the meaning of a weed is?” I asked her to explain. When she shook her head ‘no’ I clarified “A weed is simply a plant where it doesn’t belong, so… a tomato plant in a watermelon patch is usually a weed- unless you’re weird that way.,.,.,” I explained joking a bit, and she cracked up at the thought. “If I loved pizza the way I love your mom, I’d have some sort of a mental deficiency, wouldn’t I?” “I guess so, Dad.” “Or even worse: If I loved my wife the way I love pizza…” “ **Que ASCO!”** (Spanish for ‘yuck’) Kennedy burst out, clearly disgusted, and starting to stand. “that’s my point, Kiddo.” I said, chuckling.

Then later on, at the dinner table, I explained to Nina about ‘tactics’ in fighting against immorality “Yes, Nina, your sister should not be dating girls… but as near as I can tell, some how some wires in her head got crossed., not her fault, but probably due to a rather brutal ‘biological weapon’ known as Original Sin, in her case, it ‘inverted’ her sexual/romantic attractions. In some people, it can induce paranoia, in others; psychopathy, still others: sociopathy.” “Humanity got messed up at the Garden of Eden, children.” Abigail said. “Other people have a propensity for addictions, still others get extremely stupid- no offense intended to those afflicted with that problem for them.” I explained “No sense hiding the truth from our children, my wife.” I said. Her response was “They’ll have to learn it sooner or later, better it be from us than somebody we cannot trust.” “So, my ‘problem’, as you’re saying, is that somehow or another, I got a ‘computer glitch’ in my sexual orientation…” Kennedy surmised. “You’re afflicted with that problem, but you can still overcome or simply control it- for the safety of your neighbors.” was my response. “By the way, it’s not your fault that you have that problem, Kennedy, but what you **_do_** with it is a measure of the woman you are, or will be.” I said to encourage her to behave herself.

At the restaurant in Connecticut in Oct. of 2001:

After my little family and I had finished our meal, Abigail and I got quite a pleasant surprise: Nina walked up to Kennedy and hugged her, thanking her for saving them from the monster. Both Kennedy and Nina publicly professed that they would fight off anybody who picked on the other. _‘I could use this to help my girl understand the kind of love she **is** called to!’_ were my thoughts on this matter. We were staying at a hotel near the Renaissance Faire because of the family’s delight in that period of history, and the place it was taking place, as well as this family’s wealth could afford it.

At the hotel, Kennedy was staying in her own room, Nina in hers, but the rooms adjoined, and my wife and I were staying in our own room. Taking my 18yr old daughter- Kennedy to the side, I asked her “Could we talk about what happened in the car a bit?” “Oh, _that_.” she responded, remembering her bizarre outburst… “WEIRD thought” she said, her eyebrows going up to her bangs for emphasis, which are about half way up her forehead at this time “and please promise me not to freak out.” she said, and I nodded, more curious about what happened than I would be angry at my child “but, in my mind, I was kissing Amber, then all of a sudden, Amber morphed into Nina. It was that my girlfriend became my sister, so: incest equals yuck!” she said with a weird grin, concerned I might not believe or might relegate her to sub-human. “Kennedy, my child, considering somebody a subhuman is not merely a horrible corruption of understanding the faith; our Catholic faith, but it’s also blatantly scientifically illogical: it would require your species to change, something no creature is capable of doing, and God will  not do! He made you to be human, Kenn, nobody has a license to act on their temptations; we’re both attracted to females, for instance, but that’s just a desire, and one that has to be controlled.” I said, believing that my child understood I meant the desire, not one’s neighbors!

“Dad, do you think I am bad?” she asked me out of the blue sometime later. “No more than anybody else alive, Kenn. What’s this about?” now I began to realize she’s terrified of something. “My little girl, you’re only bad if you Choose to be bad.” I tried to explain… “And you’d choose to be bad by Doing bad things, or intending to do bad things.” I tried to explain. _‘I’ll get to the facts about the Church and science later on, but it’s far more harmonious than what’s let on in the world.’_ I planned.

Maybe two moths later, in our family home:

Abigail and I had gone shopping for food, and left our children to do their schoolwork; as they were being home-schooled. Much to our surprise, we found the school books all over the table, work was done, however, and we heard laughter coming from my study! When I entered, I found my daughters had gotten into my Watchers Journal and were reading it! “Dad, where were you? You missed a year!” Nina said, slightly cracking up “Huh? What? What?” was all I could think of to say. “Dad, Quincenera is 15, not 16!” Kennedy said smiling in a laughing manner. “Woops!” was my response “I goofed., can’t really be expected to keep in mind all cultural celebrations.” I said “But I am aware that that celebration **is** very important in Hispanic ethnicity, sorry about that.” the girls looked at each other, smiling, and responded simultaneously “Literary goof up, anyways, the celebration **_did_** occur on time, remember?” “That it did, my children, that it did.” I said.

Author’s Notes:

There’s no way in existence that Brian would ever sever his ties with his daughter, Kennedy! He’s her father now, and that’s that! But the message is some of the problems a family can have with a gay child, and obligations to dealing with such a cross that cannot be rejected- a child with an orientation problem can be a cross for a family, but IS still, and forever, the couple’s child, and Kennedy here is a troubled young woman!

Simply put: Justice is Justice, regardless of who you are!- and it relates to All people.

 


	2. Kennedy's Explosive Temper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter: Kennedy starts out upset over her situation regarding her sexuality, and we can clearly see the kind of teen girl she is: a tomboy.  
> The thing about Scouting as I see it is that it requires ultimate self-control, so he's telling her that she has to practice self-control as the condition she has to meet and maintain to be in Scouting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes Chapter 2: Chapter rating is probably “high teen” at most accurate, I am not really certain what level of intensity is what age level. Again, sorry about that detail, I would correct that if I could, but for now I seem to have to suffer with this uncertainty.

**Chapter 2.) Kennedy’s explosive temper.**

 

I was up at about 5:15am some few days later in our home, when I heard the sounds of a workout going on in the family gym in the basement, several kiais were clearly heard. As I snuck down to the basement, I could see Kennedy in her workout cloths; what looked like a tight tank-top (but modest) t-shirt, gym pants, sneakers, et cetera. Her black hair was in a ponytail, tied with what looked like a rubber band, and she was really wailing on the punching bag in the family gym. I sipped my beverage- a hot chocolate- for the caffeine, mainly, plus I like the taste early in the morning, or late in the day… I find that it relaxes me, and helps me think calmly- maybe not the wisest idea., I really don’t know.

As her workout continued, I began to detect that this was beyond her usual workout methods, sure she was working up a healthy sweat- something I am proud of her for- she was just keeping at it long after it was necessary for her health. “That’s not a vampire, you know…” I said in a teasing tone, and returned to my sipping of my drink. _“I may need to replace that thing soon, with the way she’s going at it.”_ I realized with a thought; sure enough, one final “Hyah” of hers, and the punching bag didn’t detach from the ceiling, it simply disintegrated! Basically, the entire bag ruptured, and the innards went all over the floor, escaping from the bag itself! I burst out laughing! My child had demolished the darn thing- Completely! _“She’s upset.”_ I realized.

Sure enough, I was correct… she looked right at me, flapped her arms against her sides, and said “Who messed me up?” I was seated on the stairs at the time. Then I realized she was mad. “This’ll take some explaining to do…” I said, then got a funny smile on my face. For some moments, we just looked at eachother; her - flabbergasted over something, myself- amused. Then she practically shouted “What?”, a little annoyed. “I was just remembering a pre-teen girl at age twelve with a striking resemblance to you interested in joining girl scouts.”

**Roughly six years before; about 1995.**

I walked into Kennedy’s room to talk to her, and found her wearing a blue and red checkerboard shirt-blouse, and long blue jeans, seated on her bed, her black hair bound in a pony-tail, and the twelve-year-old girl was reading a girl-scouts recruiting magazine with profound interest. It was pretty clear she wanted to join, clear to me at that moment. The main problem I saw was her orientation, and the kind of temptations it can lead to in her heart. Her legs were crossed, left over right, she just looked so content and pretty in that appearance. I just had to take delight in paternal love for her: taking delight in her development, caring for her in all matters (especially education and character), I especially delighted in her modesty in this situation, but as a man should to a girl; a protector, a father or brother, something like that, or a teacher (all good examples).

“My child, this will be a tremendous fight for you at times,,, of course, I’ll support you in your interest in going into scouting, but the same rules apply to you as to any other person- platonic interaction only! You must maintain absolute alertness over your flesh; you’ll have to see your ‘troopmates’ as you see Nina- as your ‘sisters’, NOT as potential dates… am I clear? I do not threaten you, you must understand- by trying to make-out with the other girls, you can get yourself in Tremendous trouble- even criminal charges!” This scared her, she didn’t want to wind up in prison, but she knew well what charges I meant: attempted rape! I don’t like scare tactics, but this is wise to let her know what the results of her actions are in advance, so she’ll mind the consequences of her deeds- and thereby avoid the booby-traps of the Evil One in her case. She was then asked if she still thought she could do whatever is necessary to join and to remain pure; more for the sake of these new ‘sorority sisters’ she would be inheriting than for anything else “I think so, Dad.” she said.

“If you have to, stay away from them,,, I know it’s hard for a young female, but you’ll have to risk being mocked sometimes, for it’s better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and prove oneself one.” “Ben Franklin, right, Dad?” she asked. “You know your history well, kiddo.” was my response.

“And speaking of history…” I began “the likely sector you’ll have to mind is what might be called ‘Indian affairs’- your flesh. I’ll try my best to see to it that you’re able to have a private tent in campouts, for modesty’s sake.” “Dad, you implied that this ‘computer glitch’ that I have is from the Devil, now you say it’s from the flesh, the two are quite different, we studied this in Catechism class, in Church School, now, as my Watcher, which one is it?” she practically demanded, worried, and had every right to demand accurate information on her situation- for her souls sake, so I’m more that happy to acquiesce to her request. “That’s why I referred to ‘Indian affairs’ child, I believe your flesh is a ‘cultural weakness’, and so, the Evil One, like a tyrant in the manner of Stalin, would have it’s agents- in this case: temptation, infiltrate your flesh, in the mind, to corrupt and twist you into it’s agent in the real world” I could see my statement of truth hurt her, women and girls do NOT like to be thought of as weak, or flawed, so I’d have to explain “the weakness I spoke of is similar to a city being prone to rebellion- out of all humanity; only 2 humans didn’t have a natural inclination to sin- to rebel against the moral order- the moral law… and these lived about 2000 years ago. The Devil- Lucifer, very rarely takes the front, it likes to fight wars by proxy- using minions to fight wars- it tried open warfare, the result was disastrous for it’s cause.” I was explaining. “The benefits of ‘warfare by proxy’, utilizing minor nations that will easily be overrun are multifold for a foreign invader, at least some of them are: 1.) it can drain the manpower of the target nation and distract them from the real target- or threat, 2.) the propensity for a hatred-based genocide of a weaker nation is much greater- especially if it’s based upon greed, and that basically retards the development progress of the more powerful nation, 3.) the ‘after effects’, nobody wants to be known as a murderer- that does some kind of psychological damage that is not easily remedied, and that will damage the victorious nation’s self-image, possibly to the point of not making it’s subjects want to defend their country any more- just think of how the left of today has taken advantage of the destruction of the American Indian Nations- their conquest… true, the ‘trail of tears’ is a dark deed of the United States, and seems to have been motivated by a form of both paranoia and greed.”

As I talked to her, it dawned upon her what I mean; a combination temptation.

After some discussion, it was clear to both of us what was needed for my child to join Girl scouts, and the reality that she wanted to do so, so I promised to help her, but she’d have to control herself absolutely. I thought that would be a perfect practice for her to maintain modesty in her heart (something vital for Catholics- if they want to see God in the after-life, something I wanted for her and her sister immensely), she’d have to remain pure in her heart- and this meant she’d have to actually _seek_ purity in her life. I told her so, and her response was predictable “Dad, is it possible for a lesbian to be pure in her heart?” she questioned, with a degree of desire to do so- she could clearly see it as desirable to be modest. “As possible as for anyone else- it’s lust that threatens purity, not orientation, my daughter. So fight it, and don’t regard your orientation as any kind of condemnation.” I explained to her with kindness in my voice.

She hugged me “Thanks, Dad, you have _really_ made my day!” she exclaimed, extremely happy to be able to partake in these outdoor activities.

**Our Home about November of 2001:**

She looked at me quizzically, and I just patted the step next to myself on the stairs, as if to say ‘sit down here’ with my left hand. We’d have to clean up the floor, I knew, but that could be done at a slightly later time, right now my child needed my help and assistance with her internal troubles related to her orientation and feelings. As I held my large mug of hot cocoa in my hands and thought, occasionally licking my lips, she folded her hands in her lap. The pause lasted for roughly five to eight minutes before I started talking to her about what had happened, but she started first “Dad, sorry about the punching bag.” “It’s expected, judging from your strength and skills demonstrated thus far, that the thing would break, I just never conceived of it disintegrating under a pummeling like the one you just gave it!” I exclaimed, shocked, and kind of cracking up. “You must have been furious, do you want to talk about it?” I asked her.

She then looked at me as if I was daft; as if to say **_“Of course I want to talk about it!”_** in response to my suggestion. “I think the being who messed you up is called “the serpent in the garden”, and I’d advise you _not_ to go looking for him.” I said, and from her facial expression, I could tell that this upset her _big time_! She doesn’t like to let anything wrong go un-avenged if it is an attack on either her or one of her friends or loved ones! That little rule I learned about her from when she was a very little girl too. “Oh, it _will_ self-destruct in the system of rule, of that I can assure you! Just look at the USSR in recent history: it was a profoundly economically unstable nation, and to be a successful warrior, you have to mind _all_ details of warfare and combat- a good training for this activity is wargames, in fact, Kennedy.” I told her; appealing to her propensity for intelligent ideas. Of this she comprehended the concept almost immediately.

“Do you remember how much fun you had with campouts in Girl Scouts?” I asked her, and my little tomboy’s face lit up immediately, she had loved those activities!

“Well, if our world broke down; that’d be everyday life, not a vacation, so I would emphasize learning those skills.” I told her. She was still upset about what had happened a bit earlier, and how she had been feeling abused by structure, or something like that.

Right about then, her stomach grumbled rather loudly, and she said “Hoop! BLT time! Preferably with Mayo.” and headed up the stairs. As she headed up, I found myself starting to gaze at her in a weird way, thinking _“She sure is getting attractive.”_ then I shook myself into my senses, and rebuked myself as she strode up the stairs in her shorts, trying to get up and get herself a lunch. My rebuke went something like this _“Get ahold of yourself- Brian! She’s your Daughter! OF COURSE you should be appreciative of her accomplishments, besides the biological fact that She’s your Child, you’re Married!”_ and I proceeded to berate myself, in a effort to pound down the rebellion that had cropped up in my head and heart with every single weapon at my disposal- it literally was an obliteration offensive, as I had no intention of any remnants surviving in any state that could continue that Perverse and Adulterous thought-train! I absolutely **hated that thought-trajectory**!

At the same time, I was upset with myself for the fact that my thoughts got along **_that_** track of ideas; but if I had any sense, I knew that I should read it as a Temptation, and NOT as a sin, as the tirade I launched against that idea should have demolished **_any_** consent for it in my heart! I was scared, to say the least, but knew that nothing has come of that idea at all!

All in all, as I sat reminiscing over what had occurred, I knew that I should be satisfied, and aware that the Evil One had tried to mess me up and had failed in his larger goal, but the reality that that idea had entered my head still frightened me immensely, so I sent as many divisions of my own defenses as I had available to re-enforce my presence in my control of the flesh that I had established so long ago- and that I valued so darn much. Honestly: I was absolutely **_terrified_**!

 _“What’s up with you?”_ I berated myself, knowing that I know better than to think that about my own child _“She’s most appropriately dressed for this activity that she was taking part in- How Could You?!”_ I was still upset over having thought that about my little girl! Honestly: no amount of emotional running-down is even close to adequate for even **_having_** such thoughts! That’s my attitude, unequivocally and forever!

As soon as I got to my journal, I proceeded to write the following information down in it:

 

To my children:

To be perfectly honest- no amount of self-abasement is even close to adequate as a self-punishment for even having ideas of the flesh in yourselves, but remember: Don’t EVER Torture yourself! Mutilations are a NO-NO! Never-Ever do them! Remember: Your body is a Divine Temple- Don’t Desecrate it- Ever!

 

I wrote that as a warning, not knowing how long I have to protect and teach these young ladies about right and wrong.

Right about then, Nina and Kennedy started to do their schoolwork, and to help eachother out with it; they had worked out a mutual ‘grading and tutoring’ system between them, as many young sisters will do with eachother- each helping the other out with understanding her assignments. While I envied and valued their love for eachother, and mutual support, I didn’t approve of them doing this kind of helping of eachother- as it was too close to cheating the other person out of their lessons. However, so long as their ‘surprise quizzes’ were passed, I decided not to care really about that, for these young girls would learn their lessons soon enough and well enough.

As I watched my teen daughters go about their day’s assignments: I elected to go over my own situation, just to make certain that it wouldn’t happen again! And as far as I could discern, it was just a sudden temptation- supposedly from the Evil One, but I was still profoundly upset with myself for getting attacked in _this_ way! As well as being scared too! Very Scared!!!- of what would happen to Me, and my soul! However, I had correctly figured out that that evil desire could only have been a letter from the First Evil- the Devil itself, but Man was it still upsetting.

It can take a lot to upset me: I had fought in Vietnam during the war, but This idea was Way too close to home for my tastes, and set me into a protective sort of ‘berserk mode’ or ‘protective rage’- kind of like Smaug in The Hobbit when he figures out that he’s been robbed!

My little girls, however, figured out that I was upset by my mannerisms of behavior, the way my body kept on twitching continuously in weird ways, and it made them rather nervous too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes: End Chapter 2:
> 
> In this one, the main message is that Purity is good, whereas evil desires are usually from the venue of the Flesh, but Commanded by the Evil One.  
> This is also designed as a fun family-based storyline, and the most fun I had in thinking up this chapter was having Kennedy want to join Girl Scouts at about age twelve.
> 
> The message in that one part (where Kennedy is trying to join Girl Scouts) is that she’s GOT to be pure, and see her troop-members as her Sisters, NOT as ‘potential lovers’, although loving them is Going to be an asset for the young girl.
> 
> Every fanfiction story of mine has a moral in it; and many chapters in my stories do too.
> 
> This element will lead to the next chapter, and there probably will be one.


End file.
